Paul Gilbert – The Importance of Self Compassion
Professor Paul Gilbert – The Importance of Self Compassion
Paul Gilbert is a British clinical psychologist. He is the founder of Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), Compassionate Mind Training (CMT) and author of books such as The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life’s Challenges and Overcoming Depression.
Today learn about the importance of self compassion in mindfulness practice. You’ll also gain deep insights into how our brains have evolved and how we can learn new, more skilful ways, to relate to the minds we have.
The first video is a presentation by Paul and the second one follows of with a practice session where Pauls guides us in several mindfulness and self-compassion practices.
Also enjoy the third video is a ‘mindfulness and self-compassion’ meditation guided by Choden.
Show Notes
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If you’d like to learn more about Paul’s books and events go and check out his website at http://www.compassionatewellbeing.co.uk for more and you might also be interested in checking out the http://www.samyeling.org website where Paul and Choden often teach from.
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Having really enjoyed Vidyamala Burch talk yesterday; I read this morning in ‘The Tao of Healing’ by Haven Trevino:
No 41 You are not weak but strong.
You are not limited, but unlimited.
You are not unloved, but much beloved.
You have suffered only for this:
That you may bless those who suffer still.
Thank you for a great month of learning, love and compassion.
had anybody made recordings of the lectures till now and
can forward them? i missed some, varda
Hi, Varda. They are all listed off to the right (on this page) under Daily Speakers. ????
Oops, those ???? were meant to be a smiley face! 🙂
but i was sent an invitation to view them for free, now i am asked to donate
Hi Varda, They are free only on the day they are released, with the exception of the first day, Mark Williams. After the day is over, you have to buy in to download or rematch the talks.
I believe that they can be viewed for free for 24 hours from when they are posted. A donation is asked when you want full access to all after 24 hours.
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing!
I likes Paul’s manner of speaking very much, because of the warmth in his voice. Also the emphasis on: IT’s NOT YOUR FAULT reached me in the heart. It’s zo very true! Thanks very much!
I liked the “it’s not your fault” idea, but think it should be clarified that there are those who DO NOT explore the roots of their repetitive negative or aggressive behaviors. They are blinded by pride, ego, personality disorders, etc, and LACK the COURAGE to work on themselves. But, alas, they are the ones NOT watching/seeking these types of programs. Go kindness and compassion!
Sad that sound quality so poor, I had to abandon both videos
I couldn’t hear or understand Choden’s Meditation 🙁
Paul’s Gilbert talk is in my opinion one of the best. Thank you.
Excellent, and explained in such an understandable way. Thank you so much.
THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!
The sound quality for the meditation was so distracting I gave up as it was having the opposite effect to what I was aiming for,, which is a shame.
October 15, 2015, at 2.40 pm
I regret not being able to do the meditation because of the bad sound quality.
Thank you ever so much for all these treasures I have found each and every day since the summit started.
Melli, thanks it is superb and I broadened my mindfulness a lot.
Agreed… the sound quality was totally distracting and I couldn’t stay focused. Is there a link to the meditation that we can access?
I had the same experience!
I agree. I could not understand the garbled voice. Very disappointed. Was looking forward to the compassion meditation.
Prof Gilbert mentions making another video about practical exercises to do, is this located somewhere or is that what the meditation is?
yep hey STAFF that is my question as well
Yes! I enjoyed this talk and would be interested in the other video he speaks of.
I wonder the same thing! Hopefully they will be posted? best regards Marie
me toooo
I think There are some exercises on his website , and more self compassion exercises and guided meditations on both Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer websites, don’t have the link right now, but a search will give them straight away, all are very good. Had the pleasure to attend a weekend retreat with Choden,
I would love to hear about these practical exercises as well. Great presentation!!
Unfortunately couldn’t understand Choden, shame.
Oh I thought I was the only one…yes couldn’t follow the meditation as well!
me neither
Rrally enjoyed today’s and yesterday’s speakers. Two areas that are very relevant to my current healing journey.
Such a shame that the recording quality of the practice with Choden made it very difficult to hear and follow his gentle instructions today.
Hard to understand the speaker. Unable to meditate.
Day 15 : One of my key learning is that for the well being of ourselves and others, we need to treat each other with respect, kindness and compassion ！
Thank you！
Superb presentation. As an anxious ex-biological scientist, I can appreciate the science behind “it’s not your fault!” …and i find this view very reassuring
I agree with Janine, very poor sound, what a pity…….could the recording be improved in some way…….such a shame not to hear it clearly….
Very interesting but, unfortunately, the video with Mr. Gilbert stopped in the middle and the sound quality of each video was poor. i tried to restart and could not.
I enjoyed this so much I suppose because it was what I needed to hear. I loved the meditation though I struggled hearing it. I am going to see if I can find something similar on their website. Thank you!
Hi, as I replied to an earlier post, you could also check Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer websites,
I loved listening to Paul’s talk and learning how our “tricky brains” work. Sooooo helpful in understanding how to work with our brains, and our practice, to cultivate more loving compassion and mindfulness. The layers and layers that this excellent summit are revealing are amazing. Thank you.
I loved the self compassion meditation, thank you so much
Very reassuring that “it is not your fault”, thank you all.
Thank you so much for this Melli, as always some great insights .. and am really enjoying perspectives from different worlds, academic, practical etc
Great lecture today, emphasizing important points for easy understanding by lay persons like me…… happy!!!
Thank you for organizing and doing this summit. I can feel and see the difference within me as I slowly become more aware of myself. Thank You.
Unfortunately far too much sound interference to listen to this meditation – sounds like a loud roadsweeper which is running up and down in the background, I enjoyed the presentation by Prof Gilbert – it is a shame it is not possible to go with the meditation afterwards.
I have been enjoying the summit and will tune in again tomorrow – thank you
Mr Gilbert is a very good teacher.
Loved the poem he read by TNH. Thank you for a very informative presentation
I like the poem also. TNH usually “hit the mark” for me
Such an insightful presentation on compassion. I will be watching this again and printing the transcript for future reference. Thanks again for this summit and all the work that Melli, the team and presenters have done. Such a gift!
Sound quality very poor, couldn’t follow the meditation at all.
Really enjoyed the information and experience today with Paul Gilbert about compassion. The exercise with Choden and Melli was very grounding. Thank you. Each day is a great blessing.
Paul Gilbert’s message was wonderful! This summit just keeps getting better & better! Unfortunately, I also gave up on the meditation because it was garbled & I couldn’t understand what he was saying. However, what I learned from Paul’s message was invaluable! Thank you so much!
WOW–Paul Gilbert is a wonderful teacher. I learned so much!! Got many take aways to use in my own practice.
Thank you, Paul, for sharing your wisdom.
Another dayoflearning something new….
Thank you Melli!
The sound and quality of both videos affected the ability to enjoy them
I loved this meditation and this focus on cultivating compassion for ourselves in one of our difficult moments. I pictured a recent time when I lost all patience with my 4 year old son and was speaking to him angrily and rudely. He fed off my negative energy and became angry and called me a poo poo head or something like that, which made me even more upset at his lack of respect. I imagined this moment and the after moments of shame and regret for sort of losing it with him, and I was able to visualize a sort of warm, loving presence that felt like my husband or a close friend there with me as I was spinning out in my mind. I saw or felt warm arms around me or giving me a bit of a shoulder massage saying “you are doing great as a parent, it’s okay, don’t be so hard on yourself, take a break.” And I imagined how differently it might have been if I had just taken a moment or a break in the middle of that. It’s such a relief to forgive yourself and be your own support system if even for a moment. Thank you for that. I will definitely use this meditation again. For whatever reason, I could really visualize and feel myself offering compassion for myself in a challenging moment. Something I don’t often do.
Great talk and easy way to understand the main functions in the brain…its not my fault is wonderful but i also believe we are more than our genes and our environment and that our actions shape does genes and the result…
Awesome presentation by Prof. Gilbert – THANK YOU 🙂
I would LOVE TO BE ABLE TO LOCATE THE SHORT VIDEO he talks about at the end which has the exercises he mentions.
Melli, could you please post instructions on where to find that video?
Sabine
Hi Sabine
Paul was referring to the video underneath his presentation–the compassion meditation led by Choden (Sean McGovern). As mentioned in Mellie’s notes underneath the presentation, Paul and Choden often teach together on a website.
Yes please let me know how to access the exercises I have the meditation and thought maybe it might be in that sectionl Sound quality not a problem for me but usually am listening with earphones on.
Very interesting content! Thanks a lot!
“On an incredibly simplistic level, you can think of depression as occurring when your cortex thinks an abstract thought and manages to convince the rest of the brain that this is as real as a physical stressor.”
― Robert M. Sapolsky, Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers
“the compassionate mind is the mind that transforms.”
“You are writing a Gospel,
A chapter each day,
By deeds that you do,
By words that you say.
Men read what you write,
Whether faithless or true;
Say, what is the Gospel
According to you?”
― Paul Gilbert, Mindful Compassion: How the Science of Compassion Can Help You Understand Your Emotions, Live in the Present, and Connect Deeply with Others
Those of us stuck in the deceit of traumatic experience battle with a symptom (Once PTSD takes root) whereby our memories become our biological enemy. Thoughts are incessantly intrusive with this symptom. Every time a traumatic memory is recalled, our bodies respond to the memory as though the event is again happening in the present moment.
This is an automatic response inside of us, and outside triggers can set memories in motion, leading to a painful physiological response. We need to break the cycle and we need interventions initially intended to break this cycle.
Once we’ve found safety, we learn to manage our thinking, emotions and physiological response through coaching towards building skills of emotional self-regulation and self-soothing. It’s only once this work begins to settle into a natural ability of expression that we are enabled to face our traumatic memories, processing those memories towards integration into the narrative of our lives.
Mindfulness is a technique shared in the mental health recovery community, along with practices of self-compassion that is showing promise in assisting us with skill development towards an ability to self-regulate emotions and self-soothing our often painful physiological response.
Our thoughts are powerful and experiences groove memories with neural networking in the brain. “What Wires Together Fires Together”. This is an expression we who wish to understand how our brain responds to trauma use to help us stay real with our experience, understanding ourselves more fully at a biological level. The same is true in practices such as building skills of Mindfulness. “What Fires Together Wires Together” as we practice, consistently, using such techniques as this to groove new patterns of thought from which to experience life in our human environments.
“All Life Is Suffering (Dis-satisfaction”, says the Buddha. With clear need still, as our animal-selves might often rely on through use of our perceptions as a left-behind primal need to be aware of threat in our environment for survival, much human suffering today is created through the psychological and biological arousal of our nervous-system, always silently on the look-out for threat.
It is a healthy choice we make, when we choose learning Mindfulness and other meditation practices to help us work through a process of nervous system re-education, taking us step-by-step with each session of practice towards living with a mind more quiet, and less attached to our suffering.
Thank you both, so much for today’s gift. Be Well
Onward now, to the blessing of today’s guided session. 🙂
Wow. Thank you Paul for your insights. Extremely interesting and well-presented. Outstanding.
What an amazing world it would be if everyone was taught mindfulness training such as that of Paul Gilbert, Right from the age of a child. Maybe one day.
Another great session, Thanks.
Paul Gilbert’s presentation is so clear and understandable for those not even interested in mindfulness.
Thank you Paul for your talk on compassion. I learned a lot from it.
Choden thank you for your compassion meditation. I enjoyed it and it helped me be more compassionate and loving to myself. Unfortunately I couldn’t hear parts of it and I struggled with your accent- that’s a difficulty I have- in parts also. Is there a transcript available to enable me fill in the bits I missed? Please let me know.
Thank you with all my heart.
Carol
Isn’t Dr Paul Gilbert reciting Robert Sapolsky? http://www.amazon.com/Zebras-Dont-Ulcers-Third-Edition/dp/0805073698
Wonder if there is an alternative site to download Choden’s meditation, which seemed quite valuable. The audio though was scratchy, garbled and difficult to follow.
Prof. Gilbert’s presentation was brilliant.
Paul Gilbert was fantasic to listen to. Just what I needed today! Unfortunately I had problems to hear the meditation. The sound was really poor. Is it possible to hear it somewear else?
I think this meditation should help me a lot.
I appreciated hearing, “It’s not your fault.” I think understanding this and accepting this is a step towards self-compassion. I, too, am interested in the meditation, but couldn’t participate in it because of the poor quality of the audio. It would be great if a better version of it could be accessible somehow.
Thanks, Paul, Melli and all.
Each day of this beautiful Mindfulness Summit I have learned something new. I am so grateful! Thank you.
It’s unfortunate but the sound quality of Paul Gilbert’s talk is so poor, I can’t listen to it. I tried two different devices to no avail. The Choden meditation sound is perfect. Thanks.
Wow! I am currently thinking of making a huge career/passion change to psychology. Paul helped make this decision even more clear. Absolutely brilliant!
The follow-up meditation practice was brilliant today. Thank you. Awesome.
Thanks so much Melli for organising this amazing summit. So many speakers who each bring a different perspective. I am amazed each day at the variety, and have found each talk/interview/meditation fascinating and helpful. Great to be part of such a big online community, too. Namaste
I feel so fortunate and thankful to have the opportunity to listen/watch these wonderful and inspiring presentations!
I am wondering if the slides that Paul Gilbert used in his presentation are available for download?
Thank you to everyone involved with the Mindfulness Summit!
Cheers,
Andrea
Am thoroughly enjoying this summit. An amazing achievement! Well done you, Melli for organising this and all your eminent, mindful colleagues for their stimulating contributions. Please could you repeat today’s meditation at some juncture? It was impossible to appreciate it due to interference.
This session was amazing. I cannot wait to share with my husband and several friends with whom I meet regularly for meditation and discussion. Thank you
I found this so informative and will definitely explore more into this. I found it hard to hear the meditation however. It was like he was far from the mic. I missed out the odd words. Brilliant though so thankyou.
I loved Paul Gilbert’s presentation, his humor, and loving presence. I was disappointed though, that it was not he who led the meditation. I was looking forward to being led by him after being taught. I found the meditation very hard to follow, bad quality sound, and I found Chdron very difficult to understand. I finally just gave up. Sad.
I have learned so much from Professoe Gilbert. Absolutely my favorite speaker so far. Excellent content, so helpful. I understand more clearly the anatomy of the brain, our emotions and I have to make a choice to be more compassionate with myself and love myself without judgement . I loved the poem by Thich Nhat Hanh. I am so grateful for the mindfulness summit. Thank you. Kelli O’Kane Hudson, Wisconsin
Me too, I want everyone to listen to his talk! I listened to every single word, completely captivated. What a total pleasure. I feel I understand a little more about my brain and can actually bring compassion to my thoughts. Much gratitude!